I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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