is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
