i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
