why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
