i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
