I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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