yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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