just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
