Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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