hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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