There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
