what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
