The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
