OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
