oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize