He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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