Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
