Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
