How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my liver is dry heaving
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
