Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
