He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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