Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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