i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
