Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
