My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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