if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
