you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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