legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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