They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
