I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
