I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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