is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize