Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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