u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Couch. On fire.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
