Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
