I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
