i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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