Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
