You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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