why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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