I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
