You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
