She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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