Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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