im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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