Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
