Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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