Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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