you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
