i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
