We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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