ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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