I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So vagazzling was a success
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
