Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
