were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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