Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Drake has all the answers
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
