I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
