susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
