What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
