This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There r osticjed everywhere
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
