I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
