Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize