i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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