Your tits are I can't wait for
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
