FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
