do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
