Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
