I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
